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To find out what you should think about the War Against Iraq, please press onnnneeeee. To find out what you should think about the economy, please press twwwooooooo. To hear the latest sports scores, please put a metal bucket on your head and bludgeon with a wooden spoooooooon.

I keed you. I'm keeeed-ing. Aren't I such a keeddeer?

I'm using GPS-guided humor to make a point, that through the dint of God-given American superiority, Americans should sit back and worry about things that are important.

Nord-strommm. Wal-Marttt. Crate & Barrellll.

We're turning their civilization into crate and barrels. Civilization? Civilization, my asssssss. They'll call any two-bit standing nation with a standing army a civilization. Fortunately, there's not much that crate and barrel Iraqi civilization can do about it.